Reset day 3 - work anxiety
Other thoughts, not a transcription of Day 3
I've opted to slowly introduce some of the limits associated with brain reset (see Day 1 - what the actual fuck am I doing for some context). I'm have added the social media limits - 30 minutes max across platforms minus Mastodon. Mastodon continues to be a breath of fresh air compared to anything else. Threads is already on the same trajectory as X and Instagram. I don't feel worse after reading through Mastodon and I do get some minor conversations going1.
I do have a separate limit on Reddit been though it is the same time allotment. Reddit is occasionally useful for answering questions so I wanted to leave it in its own bucket. I realized I'd had an hour limit on it for a while and pretty much never hit it. I don't think i've come close to the 30 minute limit these 3 days at all.
I haven't added the YouTube limit in part that I'm really enjoying watching Dimension 20's backlog of campaigns and each episode is like 2.5 hours long. I tried to write while YT was going last night and had no troubles and I'm writing with it going now. I think I'll add a longer limit after my vacation maybe?
YouTube feels different though I still think it is negative in some aspects. I just am not sure what - maybe affecting my ability to be ok with silence. So I need to keep an eye on it.
A little on Day 3 and work anxiety
Day 3 felt better still compared to 2 compared to 1. So hopefully I can make the 90 day of change. I have always enjoyed reflective writing and I love writing with this pen. But I'm back to work tomorrow so we'll see how that affects my approach to all of this.
I'm anxious about returning to work. That's what I wrote about last night. It's mostly around being the only person responsible for a thing which I try very, very hard to avoid because it tends to result on some time-bomb waiting for me post vacations. So I'm kind of dreading that tomorrow.
I spent the prior decade as I built out our accessibility processes ensuring I wasn't the only person with the expertise to do most things. It's part of what make me so good at my job - I ensure many people are also good at my job 2.
Footnotes
I still deal with less crippling but a deeply held belief that no one wants me around so it takes A Lot of effort to get myself to send a reply, let along engage in conversation. That's a me thing and has always been a me thing and I suspect I'll forever be "working on it...."↩
I'll post about the chop at some future date....↩